2/20/2016

For me, this email is where I begin to work on closure. I begin writing this from the summit of Pyles Peak, on our relationship expiration date. I have so many unanswered questions, and I am scarred, yet again, by my life of dysfunctional relationships. I will begin by saying the same thing I've said many times before. 1/17/2016 - 2/20/2016 will, undoubtedly, be the pinnacle of my life. Never before had a relationship offered such hope for a joyous and loving future for me. It was worth living in that moment, if only for a month. I expect your face to be burned into my memory banks for the remainder of my days.

With that said, I'm a long way from piecing together what happened. What went wrong. So, let me begin this by asking a few questions.

• Please don't take this the wrong way, were you truly sick last (the entire) week? Was this a self protection method so you could avoid this inevitability?
• Was this because of Colin? If not, you left him for someone you weren't even sure you loved?

I'd be a liar if I said I don't wish you were here. I am truly sure I will love you forever. I feel sure that I will end up settling on someone, but, always reaching out longing for you. I am also fairly confident that I cannot say no to friendship. The way I'm describing it to myself right now, is that the bomb dropped yesterday, but, I haven't felt it's full impact yet. I feel like I'm likely to contact you next weekend. I'm hopeful that you'll contact prior to next weekend, but I'm not optimistic or confident. I told you that I could give you two weeks before I begin reverting things back to what they once were. Just the thought of that is so sad.

Who would have thought that I could fall so deeply and helplessly in love and it all end in under a month. Life is strange.